Sausage howler wasn’t most humiliating thing about Starmer’s speech – I saw it for myself_l
The Prime Minister’s speech failed to lift the gloom hanging over Labour’s conference – but it did provide us with one good laugh.
Labour Conference: ‘Really, Starmer’s message was bare with us’
It seems that even protesters are no longer sufficiently interested in what Sir Keir Starmer has to say. Today’s feeble attempt by a lone young pro-Gaza activist was a far cry away from the glitz and glamour of last year’s glitter attack.
The Prime Minister’s speech – the first at a Labour conference for 15 years – was mired in clouds that even Labour’s worst critic could not have predicted this soon into a fresh-faced administration.
Sir Keir begged voters to ‘bear with us’, while pledging: “We’re only just getting started”. You could almost hear News at 10 viewers shouting: “That’s exactly what we’re worried about.”
The Labour leader needed to use the big moment to reset his beleaguered administration, already beset with infighting, row, sleaze and pessimism, and promise voters a brighter future.
He gave it a go, but all voters will now remember the speech for is the Prime Minister announcing a new policy of “releasing the sausages” so cruelly being held captive by Hamas.
Sir Keir’s promise to end austerity only got around six people on their feet clapping (Image: Getty)
Labour advisors will now be fearing the wurst that their election wiener will continue to be grilled about whether his administration really has the ability to turn Britain around and make the right calls.
Sir Keir tried to break through the gloomy clouds, talking about the “joy and wonder in our lives”. The problem being he remains the greyest Prime Minister since John Major, and hearing his attempt at emotional poetry felt akin to a vicar trying to talk about Charli XCX.
The audience clearly liked some bits more than others. They loved Starmer’s attack on the racists behind this summer’s riots, they audibly groaned when he copied George Osborne’s ‘we’re all in this together’ line.
Weirdly, his promise to end austerity only got around six people on their feet clapping. Even the announcement that Aberdeen would be the new home of Great British Energy got more love. It really was the most humiliating element of the speech for Sir Keir. Perhaps even Labour members remain sceptical that there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
Sir Keir’s speech was uninspiring and will fail to lift the clouds of gloom (Image: Getty)
Where Sir Keir did come across as authentic was when he spoke about his love of music.
He revealed that he turns to Beethoven or Brahms “in those moments when, how to put it, the reviews aren’t so good.”
He joked: “I’ve got some Shostakovich lined up for tomorrow”.
Wikipedia informs us that Shostakovich’s music is characterised by “sharp contrasts, elements of the grotesque, and ambivalent tonality”.
So now we know where Sir Keir draws his inspiration.
