I know you’re probably sick to the teeth of Rachel Reeves right now but I’ve still got something I need to get off my chest. Ms Reeves may be the country’s first female Chancellor – and boy, oh boy, did we get to hear about it in her Budget speech – but she had little else of note to offer in her long-winded whine fest.

Let me sum it up: more spending, more taxes and more borrowing. That was the general gist. And it’s a recipe for disaster.

All Labour has achieved is to make it more difficult for companies to employ people after its massive tax hike in National Insurance contributions. I saw one hairdresser almost in tears on live television because of the huge costs he’ll be forced to incur in his business.

There will be thousands more like him, terrified for the future of their livelihoods. It’s an outrage.

It’s that appalling time of the year

It’s come to that appalling time of year – Guy Fawkes Night. Let me make myself clear: I have no problem with the commemoration itself nor with the many fantastic, professionally-organised bonfires and fireworks displays around the UK.

But what used to be one night – perhaps two or three depending on when November 5 falls – is now a miserable barrage of noise that lasts for weeks. It’s become unbearable for the elderly, those with a nervous disposition, and most of all for our beloved pets.

Our three dogs used to be terrified by the loud bangs and general cacophony. They didn’t understand what was happening so it was almost impossible to soothe them. And I know it’s a common problem with all pet owners.

No wonder vets have seen a rise in the number of people asking for sedatives to calm their animals. Otherwise, they’re stuck in a cycle of perpetual anxiety.

Then you have young hooligans who th ink it’s funny to throw fireworks either at each other or innocent people going about their lives. In June, two teenagers were convicted of killing Josephine Smith, 88, in October 2021 after they threw a firework through her letterbox.

The poor grandmother died in her bed after the rocket exploded and set her home ablaze. How horrendous. What in the world will possess anyone to do such a thing?

The only silver lining in all this woe is the movement towards silent fireworks.

Okay, they’re not completely silent but they’re a damn sight better than the usual deafening options. What a clever idea! You can have the excitement of the sparkles but without the frightening explosions. I hope they make them compulsory in shops for customers who insist on holding their own displays.

Better still, leave the fireworks to the experts and enjoy the fun safely at an organised event. And give us the rest of us, and our pets, some much-desired peace and quiet.

Blaming Spain floods on man-made climate change is short-sighted

The flooding in Spain has been a tragedy. But blaming it solely on man-made climate change is short-sighted at best, and dangerous at worst. The climate has always been changing and the planet has changed with it.

Before you start writing in to complain, I’m no climate change denier, but I believe we need evolution, not revolution. Crashing our economies in a desperate bid for net zero is not going to stop these sorts of major weather events. We have to adapt our towns and cities and lifestyles and invest in better management of water and flood defences.

It’s easy for politicians to blame climate change when the truth is we need more investment in protecting people from extreme weather events like these.

My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones or their own lives, whose homes and businesses were destroyed, but it does them no favours to whitewash the causes. Yes, the climate is changing. Partly due to man’s influence, but also because that’s what happens. We need to understand and accept both.

Putin’s more likely to listen to Trump than Kamala Harris

Tomorrow Americans will go to the polls to decide their next president. And who they choose as the next so-called leader of the free world will have consequences for us all.

My money’s on Donald Trump. If I could vote it would be for him. He’s a tough talker and is the person who will make us more secure in Europe. Let’s be honest here, Putin’s more likely to listen to him than Kamala Harris. She’d only bamboozle him with one of her word salad answers.

Horwood’s new album is an eight out of 10

Strictly Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwood has released his debut album: Revelations – Songs Boys Don’t Sing. Don’t groan, it ain’t half bad, actually.

Horwood is known for his acid tongue but he is an excellent singer with a powerful tenor vocal. I’d give him an eight out of 10. He’s definitely worth a stocking filler.

You’re welcome, darling.

Slapping pensioners with a £6,000 fine is an absolute farce

Two pensioners have been slapped with a £6,000 Home Office fine after a migrant hid in their motorhome trailer as they returned from their holiday in France. The retired ambulance worker, 75, and his wife, 78, had no clue of their illegal Sudanese stowaway who was discovered by French authorities as they boarded a ferry.

The grandparents have to plead their case with the Home Secretary and Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner, who is their MP.

Excuse me, but what the hell? Why should it be on the heads of innocent people when migrants try to come to our country illegally? It is the job of Border Force to apply common sense in situations like this. Not needlessly harass and scare two vulnerable people who were taken advantage of by one selfish individual. Send the idiot migrant back to France and cancel the fine. Honestly, it’s an absolute farce.