Taylor Swift’s brass-necked Mother, Andrea, apparently threatened to cancel her daughter’s London gigs if police didn’t give her a blue light escort from her hotel to Wembley stadium. And Scotland Yard’s response to that threat should have been: “Do exactly as you like, madam. The Met Police are not guns for hire.”

And they’re not, as Prince Harry has (quite rightly) found out to his cost. So why does the “we’re not guns for hire” argument apply to Harry but not Taylor Swift?

More importantly, why the hell should British taxpayers be expected to fund a billionaire pop singer’s security arrangements? Yes, Swift had to call off three concerts in Vienna after a warning she was being targeted by an Islamic state suicide bomb plot. And that was the right thing to do. If there was a credible threat for those Wembley gigs, they too should have been cancelled, not just for Swift’s safety but for all the people coming to see her.

But there was no threat because the Met Police confirmed they’d done a risk assessment and said such heavy security wasn’t necessary. And if Taylor’s uppity manager/mother still believed it was, she should have taken money out of her daughter’s vast coffers to bulk up her protection.

Or did Mrs Swift just want her daughter to get a blue light escort to make her look more important? Was she trying to make the point that the Goddess Taylor is every bit as important as royalty and top politicians? Because she isn’t. She’s a rich, pampered pop star who can afford the security she needs to protect herself. And if she ever does feel she’s in danger – don’t do the concerts. Because whatever the old adage might say – the show really doesn’t have to go on. Not if your life is at risk.

But what makes this whole thing stink is that, after refusing Swift a blue light escort, it’s believed Home Secretary Yvette Cooper and London’s Mayor Sadiq Khan personally intervened to make it happen AFTER seeing Taylor Swift for free.

They can shout from the rooftops about there being no conflict of interest and Cooper can point to the fact that it was her husband, Ed Balls, who secured her free ticket. But the fact is that 10 Labour ministers and MPs used free tickets along with the Mayor of London, courtesy of Swift’s label Universal.

The Government and Ms Cooper are justifying the escort because of the Austrian terror plot. Sorry, but that doesn’t wash because the Met Police had made it clear there was no threat here. And if this Government for whatever reason believed there was, those concerts should have been cancelled immediately. But there was no plot. No danger. Just excuses from greedy politicians.

And Cooper and Khan both claiming operational decisions are made by the Met not them, doesn’t hold water either because the Met had originally said NO to the request. So what changed? We also learn that the cost of policing Swift’s gigs rocketed by £30,000 a night with the escort and cost taxpayers a total of £206,557 for three concerts.

Not only should Swift be billed for that, it must never happen again. Because what if Harry Styles demands an escort, or Ed Sheeran or Liam Gallagher

Whatever their feeble defence, these snout-in-the-trough politicians are a disgrace!

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You know we’re all going to hell in a handcart when you hear our famous Christmas treat – a tin of Quality Street – won’t ever again be in a tin. It’s all to do with saving the planet and the sweeties are now going to be in paper boxes because they’re easier to recycle.

I’m sorry, but there are limits about how much we’re expected to give up to save the planet and scrapping that famous tin is crossing a line. As for recycling, I’ve still got decades-old Quality Street tins in the garage that hold a whole host of bits and bobs so they’ve been “recycled” dozens of times over.

More importantly, those tins remind me of happy times, family Christmases, stuffing my face on Christmas morning with orange and strawberry creams. Nestle who are responsible for this travesty say: “We’re proud to be the first major manufacturer to trial a paper tub at Christmas.”

Well you shouldn’t be!

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Sacked Sue Gray says she’s “taking a break from the turmoil”. Yeah, the turmoil SHE created. But what we need to know is how much Starmer is having to pay this execrable woman who’s apparently playing hardball for a HUGE pay off and a massive salary for her new non-job.

Starmer made a fool of himself over this woman so it’s time he found his cojones and just said NO to her. If he doesn’t, it’ll prove she really WAS running the country and she’s still the boss of him!

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Church of England priests are being offered counselling for “racial trauma” they’ve suffered during their vocational work. It’s being paid for at huge cost by the Church’s Racial Justice Unit (who knew there was such a thing?) the head of which trousers £67,000 a year.

Race and diversity is a costly business. But I foolishly thought money raised by the church was to look after the poor and needy, not priests. And what happened to the power of prayer? Can’t they cure their trauma with that?

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If Phil Schofield thought doing Channel 5’s Castaway was going to revive his glittering TV career he was wrong.

He’s come out of it looking like a deranged, obsessive narcissist who’s lost the plot and blames everyone else for his downfall. He particularly hates Holly and has told her: “You brought me down.”

Why isn’t his therapist telling him he brought himself down not just because of his totally improper (but not illegal) relationship with a vulnerable young man he met when he was just 15 and who he brought into This Morning as a runner.

But also because he lied about his affair with him – to his wife, his kids, the viewers, his bosses. He’d also lied publicly for years about his sexuality – keeping up the pretence he was a happy family man presumably because he thought it would play well with viewers, even though he worked in an industry that would have been completely supportive and accepting of it. Truth is, he’s a pathetic, not very nice bloke who was always way too in love with himself.

And he shouldn’t kid himself that people tuned into Castaway because they still love him. They tuned in because they wanted to see the car crash that was unravelling in front of their eyes. They weren’t disappointed!

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Woke hospitals have banned staff from saying babies are born male or female.

Instead, doctors and nurses are being told to refer to newborns as “assigned boys and girls at birth”. Any medic who follows this ridiculous rule is an idiot. If they have a scintilla of respect for genetics or medical biology they’ll tell whichever woke-y, Stonewall lackey peddling this nonsense to sod off

If they don’t, they really shouldn’t be in medicine.

Here’s Beyonce heading to a private dinner in New York. But she looks nothing like Beyonce, the sexy pop star. In this outfit, she’s channelling Danny La Rue or even Lily Savage.

Both of whom were divine and gave whole new meaning to the word Glamour!

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So the story that’s obsessed me this week is the one about a woman being hit on the head and allegedly knocked out in Waitrose – by a cauliflower.

I saw the “victim”, Sammi Mai , 42, interviewed on TV. She said she’d been on holiday in Bath and that a cauli plummeted between four and six feet from the top shelf and she had to go to hospital.

I have so many questions. What store have you ever been in that puts cauliflowers six feet above the customers heads? Everyone I’ve ever been in they’re at hand level.

Second, what size was this cauliflower? Was it a special variety i.e. pumpkin size or giant melon size? And how did it fall directly onto her head?

Sammi Mai isn’t happy with the £25 voucher and the £8 taxi fare Waitrose gave her. I think she feels her trauma deserves more as she says it ruined her holiday and she’s still unable to work. Brace yourself Waitrose… I fear this saga is nowhere near over.

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Labour’s poll lead has fallen to just one percent. The latest poll has 29 percent of people saying they’d vote for Labour and 28 percent for the Conservatives.

And while people might say Labour is STILL ahead, it needs to be pointed out it took the Tories 14 years to get to where they are in the political toilet bowl. It’s taken Labour just 12 weeks. Also Starmer’s personal rating which was plus 11 just before the election is now minus 33 – one point BELOW Sunak.

The PM can’t claim many achievements during his disastrous reign – but THAT’S a Hell of a big one.