Keir Starmer News Old UK

Keir Starmer still doesn’t get it. This is the new expenses scandal! B

Like the Telegraph’s staggering scoop from 2009, the freebies furore shows how out of touch our ruling class can be

Blower cartoon

Somewhat belatedly, Sir Keir Starmer seems to have realised that this whole furore over freebies doesn’t look terribly good for him. So he’s tried to make amends.

If anything, though, he’s arguably managed to make things even worse.

This week, the Prime Minister reached into his own pocket to cover the cost of more than £6,000 worth of free gifts – including tickets to Taylor Swift concerts and races at Doncaster. Perhaps he thought doing this would get him off the hook. But it won’t.

First, because it’s a tacit admission that accepting such freebies was always wrong – which rather calls his judgment into question. And second, because it’s prompted some awkward questions. Such as: why did he pay up for some of his lovely freebies, but not for others? And why didn’t he make his ministers pay up for theirs?

Clearly Sir Keir still hasn’t grasped the truth. Which is that this row about freebies is the new expenses scandal.

The public’s outrage may be less explosive this time. But that’s because voters nowadays are wearily inured to political sleaze – largely as a result of the expenses scandal itself.

At any rate, there are clear similarities between the two sagas. Voters always knew that MPs claimed expenses – but, until 2009, they didn’t realise how many of them were taking the mickey, by claiming for duckhouses and moat-cleaning.

It’s the same with the uproar about freebies. Voters always knew that MPs received donations from rich businessmen – but, until now, they assumed that these were just to fund campaign leaflets and election ads. They didn’t realise that they were also getting free designer frocks for their wives, and the use of luxury Covent Garden penthouses for their sons to do GCSE revision in.

The consequences of the two rows are similar, too. Once again, voters come away thinking: “They’re all the same. Only in it for themselves.”

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If Sir Keir really wants to restore trust in politics, he must ensure that ordinary people benefit from the same opportunities that he’s had. To this end, I urge him to announce the creation of a National Penthouse Service, so that every child in Britain has access to an £18million rooftop apartment to do his or her homework in. We won’t have true equality in this country till he does so.

Peak Guardian

The time has come to commemorate a glorious milestone in journalism. Because this month sees the 20th anniversary of the single most sublimely bonkers article ever published in the entire history of The Guardian. I am of course referring to that unforgettable day in October 2004, when the favourite newspaper of the metropolitan middle-class Left enjoined its British readers to write fabulously patronising letters to swing voters in Clark County, Ohio – ordering them not to vote for that simply ghastly man, George W Bush.

Helpfully it supplied its readers with a sample letter to copy. “I know that you, as Americans, understand the issues,” the letter graciously declared – but, just to be on the safe side, it explained “the issues” to them anyway. The people of Clark County were told that they should “be alarmed by your president’s breathtaking disregard for the environment”, informed that their country had suffered a shocking “erosion of standards in education”, and warned that they must not “stand by and observe your country being hijacked by a select group of neo-conservative extremists who spread fear and loathing”.

Remarkably, no fewer than 14,000 Guardian readers nobly volunteered to do their bit. Strangely, however, it seems that the people of Clark County did not take kindly to being told how to vote by a bunch of social workers from Stoke Newington, or creatives from Crouch End. Back in 2000, Clark County had narrowly voted Democrat. But this time, in 2004, it swung behind Bush, instead.

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Personally, I just wish that the Americans had returned the favour. If only, during our own election this summer, the Clark County Chronicle had got its readers to write to voters in Britain.

Dear limey,

Please tell me you doofuses aren’t dumb enough to vote Labour. I’m telling you: within weeks, those pinko commie jerks will have ripped the winter fuel payment from your grandma’s hands. And, in case that doesn’t finish her off, they’ll rush through assisted dying, just to make sure…


Nonsense verse

Some of England’s greatest ever poets also served as MPs. Andrew Marvell. John Donne. Chaucer. But now, it seems, an exciting new talent has joined this roll of honour.

Because Dawn Butler, Labour MP for Brent East, has decided to mark Black History Month by writing a poem.

As is the way with great art, there is heated critical debate about its meaning. The lines “Why you try so hard to achieve/ By burning yourself with the sun?/ For me there’s no need” appear to mock a white person for sunbathing. Ms Butler then mysteriously adds, “I am the Chosen One/ For I am of the First Ones.”

This may be an allusion to the belief that mankind originated in Africa. Or perhaps she’s announcing that she’s Jesus. It’s hard to be sure. Still, poetry is all about personal interpretation, so I think both readings are equally valid.

As it happens, the post of Poet Laureate falls vacant in 2029 – the year of the next election. So if she gets voted out, she shouldn’t be out of work long.

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News

Cabinet ministers were branded ‘hypocrites’ last night for claiming soaring amounts on expenses to heat their second homes while stripping ten million pensioners of their winter fuel payments. Eleven of Sir Keir Starmer‘s Cabinet have relied on taxpayer-funded help to pay their energy bills, analysis of expenses receipts reveals, with the amount they claimed soaring by 75 per cent over three years. Critics last night said it ‘wasn’t a good look’ amid warnings that hundreds of thousands of pensioners will be forced to choose between ‘heating or eating’ because of Labour’s overhaul. Among the claimants was Chancellor Rachel Reeves, who announced last month that she was axing cold-weather payments for millions. She said it was necessary to help plug a £22 billion ‘black hole’ in the public finances she claims was left behind by the Tories. Eleven of Sir Keir Starmer ‘s Cabinet have relied on taxpayer-funded help to pay their energy bills, analysis of expenses receipts reveals. Pictured: Figures of six top Labour ministers Prime Minister Keir Starmer’s cabinet pose for a photo with Volodymyr Zelenskyy last month Critics last night said it ‘wasn’t a good look’ amid warnings that hundreds of thousands of pensioners will be forced to choose between ‘heating or eating’ because of Labour’s overhaul to winter fuel payments (stock image) But nearly half of this sum relates to inflation-busting pay hikes the new administration has offered to public sector workers, sparking accusations that they’re ‘robbing’ the elderly to appease their union baron ‘paymasters’. In 2021-22, Ms Reeves claimed £382 for help towards paying the energy bills at her second home. This shot up to £1,186 last year. Work and Pensions Secretary Liz Kendall, whose department is responsible for denying elderly people the fuel payments, claimed £1,284 towards her energy bills in 2021-22, and £2,400 last year. Energy Secretary Ed Milliband’s claims also shot up from £650 to £1,100, while Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson’s surged from £1,052 to £1,896. In total, the 11 Cabinet ministers claimed £7,187 towards their gas and electricity bills in 2021-22, which soared to £12,620 for the first three-quarters of last year. Baroness Altmann, a former pensions minister in David Cameron’s government, said: ‘It makes you want to weep. It almost beggars belief that ministers don’t seem to realise how many millions of people in this country who are elderly are struggling to make ends meet. Work and Pensions Secretary Liz Kendall, whose department is responsible for denying elderly people the fuel payments, claimed £1,284 towards her energy bills in 2021-22, and £2,400 last year Energy Secretary Ed Milliband’s claims also shot up from £650 to £1,100, while Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson’s surged from £1,052 to £1,896 Baroness Altmann, a former pensions minister in David Cameron’s government, said: ‘It makes you want to weep’ Dennis Reed, director of pensioners’ campaign group Silver Voices, said: ‘It’s rather sad and hypocritical’ ‘When they see the kinds of figures the Government says it can afford [in public sector pay rises], it will upset a lot of pensioners and make them very angry.’ Dennis Reed, director of pensioners’ campaign group Silver Voices, said: ‘It’s rather sad and hypocritical. ‘And I hope that, when Rachel Reeves and Liz Kendall and the others come to consider whether they should continue this very cruel policy, they come to realise that this is not a good look. ‘I’m afraid it feeds into the narrative that there’s one rule for those at the top of society and another rule for the rest of us, and particularly those at the bottom end of the income scale.’ The claims relate to money that MPs, whose salaries rose to £91,346 this year, are entitled to receive for having to work from two locations if their constituency is not in London. They can claim money towards the cost of having a property near Westminster, including council tax and utilities. Tory energy spokesman Claire Coutinho said: ‘The Chancellor has made a choice to axe winter fuel payments for vulnerable pensioners whilst delivering inflation-busting pay rises demanded by her union paymasters and refusing to clamp down on the welfare bill’ There is no suggestion that those who have made claims have broken any rules. It came amid reports yesterday that Ms Reeves is refusing to publish a report into the impact of scrapping the winter payments. Impact assessments are routinely published when governments cut benefits, but Ms Reeves is ruling out releasing the findings – or even confirming if or when an investigation was carried out, the Sunday Express reported. Tory energy spokesman Claire Coutinho said: ‘The Chancellor has made a choice to axe winter fuel payments for vulnerable pensioners whilst delivering inflation-busting pay rises demanded by her union paymasters and refusing to clamp down on the welfare bill.’ She demanded that Ms Reeves ‘come clean’ and admit exactly how many pensioners will suffer. Tory MP Dr Caroline Johnson added: ‘Cold homes are associated with excess winter deaths. The pension credit thresholds are low. If elderly people cannot afford to heat their homes they are at increased risk of becoming ill.’ Pensioners face more misery after experts at the Cornwall Insight consultancy said they believe energy bills will jump by as much as £150 this winter. They think the energy price cap will be hiked by as much as 10 per cent, from the current level of £1,568 for a ‘typical’ household, when the regulator Ofgem reviews it this week. Adam Scorer, boss of fuel poverty charity National Energy Action, said: ‘If these alarming estimates are confirmed by Ofgem on Friday, energy bills and energy debt will stretch household finances beyond breaking point.’ A Labour spokesman said: ‘The accommodation costs budget is designed to meet costs incurred by MPs as a result of working from two permanent locations. MPs of all parties are entitled to this, and they continue paying their utility bills for their own homes like everyone else.’H