Even when ensconced in luxurious gifts you can see why the PM has been in such a bad mood of late
Sir Keir Starmer is the most miserable man in Britain. Or so everyone keeps saying. Yet, for some reason, they never stop to ask themselves the obvious question. Which is: why?
It’s baffling. For pity’s sake, he’s living the life of Riley. As we now know, his wife gets free tickets to see Taylor Swift and he to see Arsenal. Free designer suits and glasses. Free designer frocks for his wife. Overall, in fact, he’s had £100,000 worth of free gifts. He should be grinning his head off. Especially since everyone else in the country is struggling with the cost of living crisis, and pensioners are wondering how they’ll heat their homes this Christmas. Yet Sir Keir trudges around looking like Eeyore after he’s accidentally sat on his favourite thistle.
Honestly. Talk about ungrateful. The man doesn’t know he’s born.
Then again, perhaps he’s miserable because he’s noticed how screamingly unpopular he is. Barely two months have passed since Sir Keir won a 174-seat landslide. Yet his popularity is collapsing in record time. His approval ratings are as low as they were after Labour’s crushing defeat in the 2021 Hartlepool by-election. His wife Vic, thanks to her love of fashion freebies, has earned the nickname “Victoria Sponger”. And he himself, having stripped 10m OAPs of their winter fuel payment, is now known as “Keir Starmer, Granny Harmer”.
The bad news keeps on coming, too. Criminals he released early from prison have had to be re-arrested (while others have been seen guzzling champagne, and hooting, “I’m a lifelong Labour voter now!”). There’s public fury over sentencing (you can get jailed for Facebook posts, but not for leering at images of child sexual abuse?). Meanwhile, reports suggest that Labour plans to “rush through” a bill to legalise assisted suicide. If ever there were a change in the law that shouldn’t be rushed, it’s that one.
There’s little prospect of Sir Keir’s support recovering, either. Not least because he’s just declared that he won’t back down over his plans to create an official football regulator – even though the European football authorities have warned him that they’ll respond by banning England from the 2028 Euros. Imagine if t he PM gets the national team thrown out of a tournament that we’re actually hosting. That should go down well with voters.
Oh – and he hasn’t even put our taxes up yet…
Of course, all prime ministers have to endure crises, and have to make unpopular decisions. But the reason there’s so little sympathy for this particular PM, during what should still be his honeymoon period, is that he looks such a hypocrite. He posed as Mr Integrity, the man who was going to clean up politics. Hence all the fuss he made over Boris Johnson’s wallpaper. Yet now we read that he himself failed to declare gifts to his wife from a mega-rich donor.
All of the above is why I’ve started to believe that, ludicrous as it may sound, Sir Keir is on course for the biggest humiliation in political history. In 1924, exactly 100 years ago, the Tories won a majority of 209 seats – yet were turfed out a mere five years later. The way Sir Keir’s going, I genuinely think the same could happen to Labour in 2029. If so, it would be the most embarrassing defeat ever – because the Tories are meant to be finished.
For now, though, Prime Minister, a word of warning. If you do plan to keep stuffing the pockets of your designer suits with free gifts, don’t accept tickets to see Oasis – or all hell will break loose. If you think this summer’s riots were bad, just wait till you see next summer’s.
Even when ensconced in luxurious gifts you can see why the PM has been in such a bad mood of late
Sir Keir Starmer is the most miserable man in Britain. Or so everyone keeps saying. Yet, for some reason, they never stop to ask themselves the obvious question. Which is: why?
It’s baffling. For pity’s sake, he’s living the life of Riley. As we now know, his wife gets free tickets to see Taylor Swift and he to see Arsenal. Free designer suits and glasses. Free designer frocks for his wife. Overall, in fact, he’s had £100,000 worth of free gifts. He should be grinning his head off. Especially since everyone else in the country is struggling with the cost of living crisis, and pensioners are wondering how they’ll heat their homes this Christmas. Yet Sir Keir trudges around looking like Eeyore after he’s accidentally sat on his favourite thistle.
Honestly. Talk about ungrateful. The man doesn’t know he’s born.
Then again, perhaps he’s miserable because he’s noticed how screamingly unpopular he is. Barely two months have passed since Sir Keir won a 174-seat landslide. Yet his popularity is collapsing in record time. His approval ratings are as low as they were after Labour’s crushing defeat in the 2021 Hartlepool by-election. His wife Vic, thanks to her love of fashion freebies, has earned the nickname “Victoria Sponger”. And he himself, having stripped 10m OAPs of their winter fuel payment, is now known as “Keir Starmer, Granny Harmer”.
The bad news keeps on coming, too. Criminals he released early from prison have had to be re-arrested (while others have been seen guzzling champagne, and hooting, “I’m a lifelong Labour voter now!”). There’s public fury over sentencing (you can get jailed for Facebook posts, but not for leering at images of child sexual abuse?). Meanwhile, reports suggest that Labour plans to “rush through” a bill to legalise assisted suicide. If ever there were a change in the law that shouldn’t be rushed, it’s that one.
There’s little prospect of Sir Keir’s support recovering, either. Not least because he’s just declared that he won’t back down over his plans to create an official football regulator – even though the European football authorities have warned him that they’ll respond by banning England from the 2028 Euros. Imagine if t he PM gets the national team thrown out of a tournament that we’re actually hosting. That should go down well with voters.
Oh – and he hasn’t even put our taxes up yet…
Of course, all prime ministers have to endure crises, and have to make unpopular decisions. But the reason there’s so little sympathy for this particular PM, during what should still be his honeymoon period, is that he looks such a hypocrite. He posed as Mr Integrity, the man who was going to clean up politics. Hence all the fuss he made over Boris Johnson’s wallpaper. Yet now we read that he himself failed to declare gifts to his wife from a mega-rich donor.
All of the above is why I’ve started to believe that, ludicrous as it may sound, Sir Keir is on course for the biggest humiliation in political history. In 1924, exactly 100 years ago, the Tories won a majority of 209 seats – yet were turfed out a mere five years later. The way Sir Keir’s going, I genuinely think the same could happen to Labour in 2029. If so, it would be the most embarrassing defeat ever – because the Tories are meant to be finished.
For now, though, Prime Minister, a word of warning. If you do plan to keep stuffing the pockets of your designer suits with free gifts, don’t accept tickets to see Oasis – or all hell will break loose. If you think this summer’s riots were bad, just wait till you see next summer’s.